Experiencing real happiness stems from a life where we make feeling good an ongoing top priority whilst also pursuing goals. It is very possible to go for more and feel good most of the time in the pursuit of wants and needs.
Lets first discuss striving for goals:
It is absolutely essential for one to never suppress desires and to always set clear written goals and then to actively work towards them through an action plan. The very act of writing detailed goals and
working through them via proper planning, creates excitement and a sense of achievement (when tasks are completed). The mind becomes self conditioned to believe one is proactively taking action and a substantially better state of mind is created, hence, contributing to feeling good, thus more consistent happiness. Maybe read that last bit again!
The above should not be confused with relying on the outcome to be happy. Remember, happiness is not being result dependent, it is a ‘way’ ie a way of being. I would like you to really think about this for a minute or two. Are you always dependent on the result? Do you only feel ‘happy’ if you pass the exam / interview / attain a particular desire? Would it be better to set clear detailed goals, create an effective action plan, take action and have fun and stay excited throughout the process whilst ticking off a list of action steps? Surely, this will make you feel better, more excited or joyful about your goals. It is not as important to achieve all your goals ON TIME rather than to achieve them. It is ok to fail and redefine action plans and achieve goals after deadlines. The main thing is to achieve them AND be ‘happy’ with who are you are becoming along the path to success. No doubt you will evolve. It is guaranteed you will learn so much in terms of yourself and also the outside world.
Now to discuss feeling good as the priority:
Our life is governed by our thoughts
Thoughts create feelings
Feelings are a measure of thoughts on a specific subject
Feelings let us know if we are in ‘harmony’ with a subject in our life or not
The more we FEEL good on more subject, the more happy we are!
Examples of subjects - brushing teeth, car, house, bedroom, bathroom, clothes, favourite soup, dog (or other pet), finances, rent, expenses, relationships, hobbies and much more. The list goes on and on. We have many subjects. For EACH ONE we have respective thoughts or have had many many thoughts previously. Notice how you feel for each one as you think about them or speak on them. This is your measure of whether you are in harmony with that subject or not. If you are feeling good there is harmony. If you feel bad or extremely bad, there is a discord between what your current beliefs (collection of thoughts) are and what you really want. Solution - change thinking! There are other tools. Good luck :)